Réveillon 2012

Réveillon 2012

Wesley

Hi guys, remember Wesley?

Yesterday I called him. More than a year later. And I didn't even mention his disappearance. It was just a normal conversation, as if nothing had happened. Half an hour later on, he mentioned that he knew he had disappeared, and that it was his fault. But I was not interested in that... I know what happened. He prefered to be friends with a couple of sadistic idiots than to me. His loss...

About Eric, we are going through a rocky phase (just now? Really Adam?). He is so obviously uninterested (sexually), that it's out in the open. We talked last night and he aknowledges that it's been very difficult to him, that guilt and shame have been too hard for him, and that he does not know how to spare me from his own internal battles. I think, actually, that, even though it's very hard, and makes me feel awful, that it comes from love... And that he's been fighting hard. And that for now, it's been forbearable enough for me to stay...

lonely

 

 

Ok, I have been debating wether or not to take that chocolate that's been lying in my bag, but I will. I am entitled to, aren't I?

 

After all, sometimes a huge thing that seems to be a great idea, that will make everything good again, just can't keep that much of a promisse. And that seems to be the case of my new apartment. I was under the dellusion that having my own place would make my closeted-boyfriend (that has got no parental respect or privacy in his own house) satisfied. And I guess such a fantasy may have been much larger in his own head.

 

So he may be disappointed, or something like that... But he is completely drawn back. I don't believe that he's fallen back on the train to his internet sex addiction, but he's cold, sexually uninterested, and he's been almost every night attending to family affairs. Sometimes even when not requested to. And he stays there for longer than I can wait him up (WHEN he comes back). And wakes up "in a hurry".

 

So this last couple of weeks I have been just dealing with that. And the last few days I have been dealing with actual loneliness.

 

Lucky me (I guess) I am in a new environment, so I have many options to take my saddened self and walk around, getting to know the neighborhood... So it gets a little bit better.

chihuahua

 

 

So, some weird coincidences have been happening, regarding chewbacca...

 

The day we got it, as we were on the road trip back, Eric's father let Eric's dog scape (he had a mongrel, that he had adopted directly from the streets).

 

And today Phil sent me an email telling that Antubis the cat has just died...

 

I don't know what to think, except that it's too much to be coincidental!

The Project Happiness

 

Hello, friends!

 

I've been reading the gift Marie (bestwishesmarie.blogspot.com) has sent me, "The Happiness Project", from Gretchen Rubin, and it's great! I try to read it at every chance I've got.

 

But back to real life... Have I already told you that I and Eric have gotten a chihuahua? As a donation, actually! We've visited a kennel in a city nearby (actually, we've visited many kennels in cities nearby and far, but the dogs were always either too big, or out of the breed official pattern, with small head, non pronounced stop...).

 

Chewbacca (or chewbie, the nickname of Romeo) was one of the kennel's best shaped dog, but he just didn't have interest in the females, he'd rather be intimate with other males... So I suggested the owner that although he was not a puppy anymore (2 yo), we really liked him. So she gave it to us!

 

I gotta go now, but I'll tell you more later!

Kitchen cabinet

 

Good morning guys!

 

I'm still internetless, so I'm posting via my city hall computer (where I don't have access to the blogosphere, or even my hotmail, so I'm sorry I haven't been keeping up with the comments nor your blogs!)

 

So, this weekend was kind of fun.

 

There was a cultural marathon in my town (a very big public/private initiative, that brought here tens of simultaneous attractions throughout the weekend, from concerts to djs and exhibits, all free, all opened to the public). I've been to four concerts from people that I ordinarily wouldn't, like the king of the sixties music in my country (our Elvis, equally created by the regimen, a military one, in our case, but other than that, harmless, and even kitsch), an alternative group, a samba singer and a pop-soul singer.

 

I was exhausted at the end, but I still gathered all my strengths to put together the kitchen cabinet that I told you about in the previous post. It came without the instructions or even many of the wholes it was supposed to have, but I just didn't have the patience to call the store again and ask for the already paid for service.

 

And I made it! I was very proud of myself. And apparently so was Eric, if you know what I mean.

A non-update post

 

Lately all I have been posting are updates (and not all that often, I know, I know), so I decided just to tell a fact today.

 

I bought a sink to my new and beloved apartment, to be delivered wednesday. As I have nobody available to sit in a tv-less and internet-less apartment all day waiting, I took the afternoon off.

 

So I did take it to ship the refrigerator, couch, and a few other items to my new place, and waited. And then I waited some more, while I organized the place. And then... a little more waiting.

 

So I called the manager and he told me that I'd have to wait until the next day, for my sink didn't fit in that day truckload.

 

I couldn't even begin to grasp the concept that for their lack of organization I'd have to miss another day of work. So I asked for them to deliver it after 6 o'clock. And they said that they were very sorry, but that they couldn't!

 

I was almost enfuriated!

 

So I called again the next day to undo the deal. And they said that they couldn't. Then I decided to bully back, and asked if I had to talk to my lawyer.

 

One hour later it was being delivered...